Healthy Husband, Happy Wife!

How to make healthy changes within a relationship

It has been a while since I wrote a blog, well aside for the the 30+ blogs I had to write for school! I just recently went through a two-year program for my Master’s in Clinical Nutrition. However, this blog was inspired by me and not an assignment!

I was inspired to write about how to create health within a relationship or family structure.

I encounter so many women that want to be healthy, lose weight, feel better in their body and minds, but their husband and/or children are not on board.

When we are in a close relationship with someone, it is hard to not let their bad habits influence us. We reflect those that we associate with:

**“My dear son, association is very important. It acts just like a crystal stone, which will reflect anything which is put before it.” Nectar of Devotion Ch. 12, p. 106**

Change can be hard enough, but if we are also getting resistance from loved ones, this can seem even harder, maybe almost impossible.

I would like to share a recent experience I had with my husband to show you how you can take control of the situation, without getting push back.

My husband started a new job and his schedule changed. He had to get up earlier, which meant he did not have time to work out in the morning, and then when he would get home, he was too tired to workout out and would snack, eat dinner and snack more. Me being a wellness coach and soon to be nutritionist, alarms started going off inside. My husband is not exercising and he’s snacking on all these processed oils, and drinking carbonated drinks, etc… I started to feel anxiety about the situation. I almost thought my husband was doing this out of spite. Here I am putting all this work into being healthy, and he is doing the exact opposite. It started to weigh on me. I knew I couldn’t just go to my husband and say, hey you need to start working out and eating healthier… haha. That wouldn’t go over well, nor would he have done anything about it.

What I realized was that this was something that mattered more to me, than to him. So I was going to be the one that needed to make the adjustment. I also had to appreciate that my husband is working hard, just started a new job, and his capacity is full. It has nothing to do with me!

So what could I do to help?

I decided to get up early with him and I would make his lunch for the day. This gave him 10-15 extra minutes where he could stretch and do the rebounder (mini trampoline). I even started doing it with him, because I made his sandwich while he walked the dog. This even helped me out; I got my workout done earlier! I even had more motivation to do it, because the motivation was outside of myself.

I also started making wholesome treats with healthy oils, whole grain flour (spelt), healthy sweeteners (raw amber agave, maple syrup, or coconut sugar) and had those on hand so my husband wouldn’t go for the chips. And guess what? It worked! I also got to enjoy healthy treats instead of snacking myself. Also, since I was getting up earlier, I would prep dinner right after my husband left for work. I cooked beans or rice that were needed for later. Or made a soup so I didn’t have to make it at the end of the day. After a whole day of work, the last thing I want to do is start making dinner. I didn’t even know the option existed that I could make it earlier in the day and then just refrigerate it! It was then easier to heat dinner up and have it ready as soon as my husband got home, instead of stressing about the timing of when to start to making dinner EVERY SINGLE DAY. All these little shifts I made, not only helped my husband tremendously, but I also benefited.

My desire to write this blog is to give some insight into how change is possible and even for our spouses! We get by from a little help from our wives, right?!

Now, I could have sat on the thought that, here I am doing all this work, and it should be my husband’s responsibility to take care of himself. Why do I need to do it for him? I also work and clean and also do most of the cooking!

OR, I could switch the narrative to, my husband works a lot, and it’s really my strong desire to be healthy. Therefore, it is my responsibility to make this happen. Marriage is also about team work, and service to one another. By actually working on my bad habits such as sleeping in, not getting up early enough to work out for myself, not making dinner on time, I was also able to help my husband. Sometimes we have to stop pointing the finger, and actually exam if we our self are actually being the change?

I truly believe that any given situation can be adjusted, with just a little brain storming, and some fine tune adjustments, and maybe a small sacrifice. I understand that some women also work just as hard as their husbands and these exact changes might not apply, but I promise you, if you brainstorm you can come up with your own unique solutions. Some things may need to be adjusted in our own lives to make these changes possible!

Here is a recap of the changes I made that helped both me and my husband tremendously!

I got up earlier to make lunch for my husband to take to work with him
My husband and I started doing a 15 minute yoga/ rebounding routine daily before he left for work
I started making dinner as soon as he left for work so I didn’t have to worry about it later
I make nourishing sweets in bulk on the weekend (so I am able to freeze a bunch) so my husband doesn’t have to rely on chips and other unhealthy snacks. Plus, healthy prepackaged snack food can be expensive! I also make sure we have dried fruit and fresh fruit in the house.
I go to bed earlier with my husband (where I used to stay up later than him because I didn’t have to get up so early)
We take fun bike rides on the weekend! We try to do at least something active together on the weekend.

As a result? I am not longer worried about my husband getting an early onset chronic disease, and I am also way more productive in my day and have more energy. Less anxiety, more energy; yes, please! This is an example of how us women can have more control over our lives, and maybe even our husband’s!

My hope is that this blog is empowering to women and gives you some ideas how you can help adjust your and your husband’s life to make it that much healthier!!! The last thing your husband wants to hear is you nagging him all the time.

So instead, be the change and provide the tools for it!

*These tools can also apply to your children!

XOXO,

Carly

PS… I am not saying that wives have to do EVERYTHING for their husbands. I definitely set boundaries with my husband when it comes to certain things like helping out around the house or cleanliness, etc. But, just like in our own lives, we can only control what we have control over. Making healthy meals is one thing we do have control over! If you are not the one that cooks, then you can buy the healthy ingredients, or download some recipes for your husband, etc! If you have the money, sign up for a healthy meal plan delivery service. Adjust accordingly for your lifestyle!